The Twice Told Joke

Wooo Rush! That is to say, the conclusion thereof.

Tomorrow (today?) is Bid Day. Put up or shut up, freshmen. I'm just glad I don't have to be up at 7 in the morning to sign my name. For any of my guys that might be reading: hope to see you in garnet and gold tomorrow.

My own life, as it were, is like some long anecdote and I'm still waiting for a punchline. A little homework, a little TV. I can't say it's been anything more than typical Rose times. Let me take the time then, to educate you in an area of current events in which I have a deep, personal interest.

There's some minimal backstory you might need to digest in order to appreciate this, but I'll try and keep this whole expose brief. It's possible the subject matter might be a little toolish, but I promise to amuse even the most layman of readers. Any link I provide will be either informative or hilarious and therefore worth your time. Things you need to know:

• Rockstar Games makes a well-known game series called Grand Theft Auto. For whatever reason, Rockstar chose to hide a minigame in the code that allows you to fuck nurses and the like.
• People found out.
• Jack Thompson is a Florida attorney who hates video games, children, and fun. Thompson has been campaigning against "violent" video games ("murder simulators", as he calls them) for decades.
• Rockstar recently released a video game loosely based on the unpopular 1979 film, The Warriors.

These are the facts that you would be required to know in order to understand the following chronology:

• Jacko makes a series of uninsightful and altogether inaccurate statements on 60 minutes.
• Jacko writes a "Modest Proposal" for a video game centered around a character that goes around killing video game developers and offers $10,000 to charity if anyone has the balls to design and create the game.
• Mod-developers for GTA create a "murder simulator" comparable to Jack's requests.
• Jacko renegs on $10K donation.
• Emails come flooding into his inbox, one of which being from everyone's favorite Gabe o'er at Penny Arcade.
• Jacko calls Gabe.
• Tycho & Gabe make the $10K donation (notice the memo on the check...) that Jacko never would.
• Jacko sends a fax to roughly 500 politicians and the Seattle PD. He claims that PA is harassing and extorting him. They do this, somehow, by making charitable donations and receiving phone calls from Jack. I think the police laughed at this point.
• Jack writes his local FBI. They laugh.
• Unscathed, Jack writes The Justice Leauge. PA's fucked now.

Last time I checked, the boys at my favorite webcomic were still free men. Thompson is quickly losing credibility with his arguments, and is finally being subjected to mainstream media flaming. Penny Arcade has been seeling "I Hate Jack Thompson" T-shirts for sometime now, and they've recently released a "Pixelante" shirt based on the term Jack coined to describe us kill-crazy gamers. Proceeds from shirt sales go to Child's Play.

So there it is. Nothing you couldn't have read anywhere else on the internet, but I've already digested it for you. Look for some kind of real update from me later. Be good. Stay pure.

I can't believe that she's gone