Walker
For lack of interest in typing a real post, here's the rough draft of my short fiction I turned in yesterday. The title is retarded, and am looking for suggestions. I'm pretty thick-skinned, but if you're going to tell me it sucks, do the favor of telling me why. I have to turn this in again at the end of the quarter. I tried to get the formatting working for the web, but I didn't feel like working that hard at it. As a result, I just made a PDF. Enjoy.
I enjoyed, but get more opinions becuase I'm procrastinating, and I would enjoy anything this side of the bible. I also liked that for the first part I was going, what the hell, this is Dan? Dan doesn't write sentimental nostalgic stuff, does he? And then everything clicked. Anyway, two notes, at one point Dex says something about how the guy lived "vivaciously" through him. You may have done it intentionally, but if not, did you mean vicariously? And at the bottom of page 7, you used the word closet when I think you meant closest.
Edit: I didn't phrase that correctly. I enjoyed it on its merits, not just because I'm procrastinating. I think it's good but just in case I've totally lost my mind, which isn't impossible, other people should confirm that it was really good.
You named your story 'Walker' and yet Chuck Norris was nowhere to be found. What a let down!
In the Eyes of the Ranger, the unsuspecting stranger, had better know the truth of wrong from right.
'Cause the eyes of the Ranger are upon you, any wrong you do he's gonna see.
When you're in Texas, look behind you, 'cause thats where the Ranger's gonna be.
I've been doing NOTHING for a week, and I think it was good, so I say that Theresa hasn't lost her mind. Creepy, but I liked how everything worked out. Dan is impressive.
Great ending, good story overall. The only small objection I would have is the use of the word 'crappy' in the first sentence. It seems kind of... immature almost. Something not so overused as a euphemism would be better, like "dingy" or "disco-era" or "cheesy" or "cheap". You get the idea.
Theresa: Thanks for those points.
Theresa: Thanks again.
Snizzle: I'm mortified to consider that you pulled those lyrics purely from memory.
Katie: Thanks, but I'm not convinced your sister hasn't lost her mind.
Sean: Good idea. "Shit-tastic" would work wonderfully.