LKDC
Everybody lies. And then blogs about it.
Return to the Left Coast
Mar 27th
This fucker needs a computer
I have no particular love for Seattle, Washington. That’s not to say I hate the place, but the powers that be seem to keep drawing me there to spend most of the daylight hours locked in a basement somewhere wearing a funny little hair bonnet. These past four days I spent in Seattle went by without too many events of note. On my last day there, I did get to do a couple of hours wandering where I did venture into the EMP/SFM building (Experience Music Project / Science Fiction Museum). It was an interesting place for the $15. I got to see a working tornado of musical instruments and a complete history of guitars, as well as a collection of miscellaneous science fiction memorabilia. Included in said memorabilia was the complete written manuscript of Neal Stephenson’s Baroque Cycle which stood several feet tall. I bring that up only because I’ve read the first volume of aforementioned series and later sat next to a gentleman on the flight back from Seattle who was reading Stephenson’s Cryptonomicon (one of my favorite reads in recent years). The coincidences just continue to stack up.
As usual, I caught the red-eye back to Columbus and am now running on about 2.5 hours of plane-sleep, which translates roughly into one hour of actual sleep. Luckily, Monster Khaos energy drinks were buy-one get-one at the gas station by the apartment so I’m ripped and ready for at least another 7 hours or so.
The wife and I have started to do a little house hunting in our free time. We said we would start doing it a little earlier this year if we had the cash saved up but we just sort of put it off until the weather was nice(r). We’ve found a couple of prospective dwellings in the last couple of weeks and got screwed out of both of them. We have this magic power that causers bidders to show up out of nowhere on houses that have been on the market for like 6 months. Assholes.
Just before leaving the state, I finished Bioshock on the PS3. The ending was a little disappointing, but I’ll go ahead and say that if you get the chance to play it, you should. I know I’m like a few years late on this game, but it’s practically a “classic” now so you should be able to get it cheap. I think I’m going to pick up Paper Mario for the Wii later this weekend.
All right. That’s all for right now. I’ve already wasted the better part of 3 hours of my “day off” answering work emails and filling out paperwork. I need to go do something wholly unproductive, like play LittleBigPlanet.
Forty-Dollar Rebate
Mar 19th
Everyone, everywhere should get onto Newegg and drop a few bucks on more memory. It’s cheap as shit, and it’s like taking home a new machine. I just dropped a fat-stack into my baby-girl here for $35. Do it.
Now that's a beautiful thing
Rains, Pours & Starbucks
Mar 18th
Apparently I like Seattle, Washington. Spend a couple of days there once in January, and the company all of sudden thinks I’m the resident expert. Oh well. Free travel. I’ll be gone five days this time and have a rental car. Can the internet recommend anything to do?
Battlestar Galatica draws to a close this week. Four years of frakking and fighting. I might not be around for it either… weekend plans?
I really sat down with the intention of writing more than this. Huh. I guess nothing else is really going on. Holla back for a dope cock?
The Armpit of America
Mar 13th
Wisconsin Man, 20, Waits Outside Terre Haute, IN Middle School to Propose to Eighth Grade Girl
(TribStar)
Terre Haute for the win! Although technically the primary source of asshattery in this story originates from Wisconsin, I still have to give props to the TH for successfully breeding teenage girls that are this stupid. But I mean, she’s 14 years old and in the eighth grade. That means she’s really mature for her grade, or wicked stupid.
Random Geek Update
Mar 12th
Just in case you don’t read the actual trades, the Firefox 3.1 Beta 3 comes out later today and iPhone Firmware v3.0 drops on the 17th of March. The new Firefox is about the same on the surface as it was in Beta 2, but apparently they’ve amped up the Javascript engine. I have no goddamned idea what Apple is doing in 3.0, but there are parts of me that ache to know.
That’s all.
Locked In Here With Me
Mar 7th
OK. Watchmen. If you saw the movie on opening night (like I did) you probably don’t have too many questions about what happened unless you were dragged to the theater by somebody else. If you don’t know what Rorschach means, then by all means, please just Wiki that shit and come back. I’ll wait.
…
All right then. Welcome back. The bottom line is, I liked the movie. I read the book over a year ago in a single day and was just captured by it. There’s a lot going on with the multiple stories (a few of which were pruned from the theater release) but they really kept the meaty parts of it. Go read the book. It’s certainly worth it. And don’t complain to me that you don’t read comic books. There’s as much text printed in Watchmen the book as there is in any Janet Evanovich dime-novel. The sex scenes are probably better in the Evanovich tales, but the story telling in Watchmen is deep and fulfilling. And the movie features both tits and dick. If that motivates you in any way to see it, I’m not above using it to lure you to the theater.
I’m sure something else has occurred in the world worth mentioning at this point, but really, blue-cock and explosions are more entertaining. It wasn’t the cinematic masterpiece it promised to be, but it’s one of the more true graphic-novel adaptions to have been made in the last five years. Hands down. And it’s certainly better than The Jonas Brothers movie.
Take Two and Call Me
Mar 1st
The common cold.
See congestion and a cough.
See acute viral rhinopharyngitis.
See Dan spending the weekend on the couch playing online poker and swallowing, spoonful by spoonful, a gallon of a defensive yet repulsive substance known as mucus.
The cure for the common cold is supposedly a mothers love and my favorite over-the-counter narcotic: NyQuil. Introduced in 1968, NyQuil is the vanguard of over-the-counter hallucinogens. Despite Article IV of our prenuptial, there is currently no day or night formula of NyQuil in the apartment at the moment. I’ve since had to resort to my own personal daytime (Dr. Pepper) and nighttime formula (Kahlua Especial). Despite warnings on both bottles, I’ve not been monitoring my 24-our intakes of either.
The job kept me pretty busy this week. We had an unexpected employee-departure (no, not related to the economy) and another guy on vacation for a week. In their absence, I filled in doing some work I otherwise wouldn’t be. It kept me away from my desk for a bit, which was a nice change of pace. I got to rock the headphones for pretty much the entire day everyday. With any luck, this increase in hands-on work will not end up in another trip across the country. I could stand to remain in the same state for a few months. Australia in November, Seattle in January and Baltimore in February. Granted the regular installers go out a bit more frequently than that, this regular Joe is due for a break, no?
This illness prevented me from seeing the return of the great Big A to the stage playing a show with The Great Transparency at the Newport last night. My evening instead consisted of Chinese food and NCIS reruns. It turns out that show is the only reason the USA channel still exists. It was on today from at least 2pm until 11pm making for at least 9 hours of Mark Harmon beating the shit out of guys with shaved heads.
I’ve been playing a decent enough bit of Full Tit Poker in the last couple of weeks. There’s been a semi-regular weekly game going on in town and it’s gotten me back in the poker spirit. I’m out a few bucks in real life, but online I’m only down about $0.70 which is not back considering my track record. If you have the patience and the skill, you can most certainly make a grip of cash on a two dollar buy in. This afternoon, I placed 28th in a group of like 300 people. And I’m not even any good at this. It’s a nice hobby then, no?
OK. My medicine is starting to make my error-rate for typing a little higher than I would like. I’m going to focus more on television and 4chan. Oh, for the love of god, don’t click that link. I can’t promise what will be on the other side. 4chan /b/ is a perfectly homogeneous mixture of monster fucking, internet memes, suicide notes and child pornography. It’s an amazing topography for the internet. Enter at your own risk.
On a mildly related theme, since my switch to WordPress, I’ve installed a little tool called StatPress which let’s me know visitor information and how people found the site. Including those who stumble across the website through search engines. You want to know the most popular search term used to find LKDC? “Jailbait”. Four visitors today alone have found their way here by typing “Jailbait” into one of their favorite search engines. I could not, for the life of me, figure out how. Until I looked at a cached version of LKDC from Yahoo. Here’s a little something from a post called “It’s a Goddammed Arms Race” from February of 2007:
So apparently, a number of weeks ago, Tim witnessed an episode of the popular Food Network TV show “Throwdown with Bobby Flay”. The aforementioned episode featured the popular Bobby Flay “throwing down” with Tony Luke, proprietor of the popular Philadelphia sandwich shoppe that bears his name. So what do we have to do? Get some goddamn cheesesteaks. Well, I had a chicken sandwich. 90 minutes to find the place from here, followed by a few hours trolling around South Street, downtown Philadelphia. If you’re wondering what there is on South Street on a Saturday night, the answer is simple: Auntie Anne’s, the Condom Kingdom, traffic, and jailbait.
You clicked the jailbait link, didn’t you? It was the first one you clicked, too. We’re both going to hell.
That’s all.
Seatbelts.
Where Was This a Decade Ago?
Feb 25th
I don’t know why it took someone so long to sit down and properly diagram this. Thanks, xkcd.
Now I know what they mean when they say "the bags are juiced".
The Things That Own You
Feb 21st
How much can you really know about yourself if you’ve never been in a fight? This post will not be a whole listing of Fight Club posts. But hey, it’s on. I’ll pretty much watch anything in HD if it’s on in the middle of the day. Hence my previous viewings of Face Off and Payback. Ah, the 90′s. They haven’t made films like that since.
It’s probably already obvious that I did not in fact die in Baltimore. I can’t even say that I ever really came close. I did walk 3.2 miles from Johns Hopkins Bayview back to the hotel (the nicest hotel I’ve ever stayed in, by the way) through downtown Baltimore. I had never been in a city with a legitimate Greek quarter before, but I guess Baltimore has one.
Got to spend my evenings down there with Wojo and occasionally the mysterious Mr. Schlehr. Turns out there’s a good deal of beer out there. We explored this.
The job itself was a snap. No problems, no delays. Simple to install, simple to explain, lots of spare time to read.
The prestigious Mr. Faeilla is in town for a few days, there’s supposed to be some sort of gathering of great minds this evening. Well, of minds anyway.
The Watchmen is finally making its way to movie theaters on the 6th of March. Sight unseen, I still cannot recommend enough that you see this movie. The book is tremendous. I refuse to say comic or even “graphic novel”. It’s a story, and that story is best told through the medium in which this author happened to choose to tell it. My dead-tree copy of this work is currently being passed from hand to hand and I advise that you make a copy available to you. Read it. It won’t take long. And you illiterates, there are indeed pictures. Go forth.
That might be it for right now. Still kind of playing with WordPress. Got a plug-in for the iPhone! So now there’s a super awesome AJAX driven iPhone compatible version of the site. So for the two of you who could possibly give a shit, there you go.
I’m On A Boat (feat. D-Kizzle)
Feb 15th
All right! A few free minutes and a chance to commit my deeds to record.
As you might remember, I was dispatched to Australia for a couple of weeks in November/December of last year to do an installation for work. A few weeks ago, I was sent on a last minute mission to Seattle’s University of Washington solo to perform similar work. Tomorrow, I depart for Baltimore’s Johns Hopkins Medical Center for yet another installation. I actually know a fool or two in Baltimore so I might be able to make this trip more than just business. I thought I remember hearing recently that Baltimore is something like the third most murder-est city in the union. I think they set some kind of record by actually going seven days without someone getting killed and were excited about it. I’ll be there for two to three days. What are the odds of me getting my head blown off?
The wife and I are saving up for a permanent residence complete with white-picket, but despite this, I was able to convince her that we needed to upgrade a few audio components in the Kober Cinema. For the last 5 years or so, the foundation of my home audio suite consisted of a pair of ~30 year old tower speakers first purchased by Ma Kober for her first college abode. They have served both generations well, but there comes a time when things like that need passed around again. So, after promising them to Kevin, the Mrs and I made an investment an entirely new front system. There are words and pictures that can describe how they occupy space, but I can’t very well plug them into teh interwebz and make you understand what it is that makes them speakers. Suffice it to say, me likey.
I won’t go into incredible detail here, but if you are a watcher of Lost as I am, I have a question for you: what the ever-loving fuck is going on? There was a point where that show was in fact a series of unanswered questions, but now they’ve taken this cascaded riddle and force you to view it through the lens of a madman snorting meth in an abandoned paint factory. The best case ending, for me, will be that everything that’s taking place in Lost is actually the prologue to Battlestar Galactica and it’s Sawyer that caused the nuclear holocaust.
Hell’s Kitchen has started up super early this year in case you didn’t know. They are only two episodes in right now and you can probably view them at FOX’s website if you’ve missed them. Get caught up, because this years crew is definitely a bunch of Cracker-Jack motherfuckers.
That’s all for now. I’ll let you know if anything drops of noteworthy-ness
