Take Two and Call Me

The common cold.
See congestion and a cough.
See acute viral rhinopharyngitis.
See Dan spending the weekend on the couch playing online poker and swallowing, spoonful by spoonful, a gallon of a defensive yet repulsive substance known as mucus.

The cure for the common cold is supposedly a mothers love and my favorite over-the-counter narcotic: NyQuil.  Introduced in 1968, NyQuil is the vanguard of over-the-counter hallucinogens.  Despite Article IV of our prenuptial, there is currently no day or night formula of NyQuil in the apartment at the moment.  I’ve since had to resort to my own personal daytime (Dr. Pepper) and nighttime formula (Kahlua Especial).  Despite warnings on both bottles, I’ve not been monitoring my 24-our intakes of either.

The job kept me pretty busy this week.  We had an unexpected employee-departure (no, not related to the economy) and another guy on vacation for a week.  In their absence, I filled in doing some work I otherwise wouldn’t be.  It kept me away from my desk for a bit, which was a nice change of pace.  I got to rock the headphones for pretty much the entire day everyday.  With any luck, this increase in hands-on work will not end up in another trip across the country.  I could stand to remain in the same state for a few months.  Australia in November, Seattle in January and Baltimore in February.  Granted the regular installers go out a bit more frequently than that, this regular Joe is due for a break, no?

This illness prevented me from seeing the return of the great Big A to the stage playing a show with The Great Transparency at the Newport last night.  My evening instead consisted of Chinese food and NCIS reruns.  It turns out that show is the only reason the USA channel still exists.  It was on today from at least 2pm until 11pm making for at least 9 hours of Mark Harmon beating the shit out of guys with shaved heads.

I’ve been playing a decent enough bit of Full Tit Poker in the last couple of weeks.  There’s been a semi-regular weekly game going on in town and it’s gotten me back in the poker spirit.  I’m out a few bucks in real life, but online I’m only down about $0.70 which is not back considering my track record.  If you have the patience and the skill, you can most certainly make a grip of cash on a two dollar buy in.  This afternoon, I placed 28th in a group of like 300 people.  And I’m not even any good at this.  It’s a nice hobby then, no?

OK.  My medicine is starting to make my error-rate for typing a little higher than I would like.  I’m going to focus more on television and 4chan.  Oh, for the love of god, don’t click that link.  I can’t promise what will be on the other side.  4chan /b/ is a perfectly homogeneous mixture of monster fucking, internet memes, suicide notes and child pornography.  It’s an amazing topography for the internet.  Enter at your own risk.

On a mildly related theme, since my switch to WordPress, I’ve installed a little tool called StatPress which let’s me know visitor information and how people found the site.  Including those who stumble across the website through search engines.  You want to know the most popular search term used to find LKDC?  “Jailbait”.  Four visitors today alone have found their way here by typing “Jailbait” into one of their favorite search engines.  I could not, for the life of me, figure out how.  Until I looked at a cached version of LKDC from Yahoo.  Here’s a little something from a post called “It’s a Goddammed Arms Race” from February of 2007:

So apparently, a number of weeks ago, Tim witnessed an episode of the popular Food Network TV show “Throwdown with Bobby Flay”. The aforementioned episode featured the popular Bobby Flay “throwing down” with Tony Luke, proprietor of the popular Philadelphia sandwich shoppe that bears his name. So what do we have to do? Get some goddamn cheesesteaks. Well, I had a chicken sandwich. 90 minutes to find the place from here, followed by a few hours trolling around South Street, downtown Philadelphia. If you’re wondering what there is on South Street on a Saturday night, the answer is simple: Auntie Anne’s, the Condom Kingdom, traffic, and jailbait.

You clicked the jailbait link, didn’t you? It was the first one you clicked, too. We’re both going to hell.

That’s all.